Like a lot of busy moms I know, I have a tendency to first over-commit myself and then get pissed at myself screaming in my head “why did I say I would do that?” I must admit that when Susan messaged me a reminder to write this blog, I felt a similar sensation. However, flaking out on the amazingly stylish, creative and funny Susan is simply not an option. So, after a particularly packed week – when the parental challenges flowed like your kid pouring milk “all by myself” all over a just washed kitchen floor – I decided I would dedicate this post to 5 things that really grind my mom gears:
1. Really questionable characters or activity in children’s books: Where shall I begin? Let’s see: if I see a quiet old bunny lady on a rocking chair in my kid’s great green room with mice on the floor I’m not going to respond with a “good night to the old lady whispering hush.” I’ll probably call the cops. “Good night noises everywhere” is not a very responsible approach to dealing with this very problematic room. And the Man with the yellow hat?! Really? He is freaky. That yellow outfit is a cry for help, and what exactly is his relationship to George? And if he is actually responsible for him, in somewhat of a parental way (again, totally weird) why does he, for example: leave him – a monkey - completely alone in the middle of a zoo? Finally – Eric Carle. Eric, buddy, I love you. That caterpillar’s Saturday morning pig-out session was epic and makes me hungry every time, especially for one piece of cherry pie. But let’s talk about Mister Seahorse for a moment, shall we? At the end, when Mister Seahorse’s boy Mr. Bullhead is caring for his young he is not BABYSITTING, he is PARENTING. Really, Eric, come on! Little boys and girls everywhere are listening, keep the message responsible.
2. Grown adults who make videos of themselves playing with children’s toys and then target my four year old with this garbage on youtube: OK, this is really totally awful. You give your kid the ipad/phone to watch a bit of peppa pig to pass the time and bam! All of the sudden Essie or Ryan or some other person way too old to be playing with Duplo take over your screen, hypnotizes your child, and proceeds to deliver the most meaningless content on the internet that for some reason children are simply entranced by. And take a little bit of responsibility toy review weirdos. Our kids are listening to what you are making these toys “say.” And don’t even get me started on these families that post videos of their kids running around a water park or trying some food or whatever. Someone has to regulate this nonsense and kick these visual polluters off the internet.
3. People who are intolerant to children in obviously family friendly locations and at prime family time: Any restaurant with a kiddie menu before 7pm; bakeries, ice cream shops or anywhere else selling straight up TREATS; the freaking park. Look, I know for those folks who do not have little kids our families can sound loud and obnoxious and there are situations where us parents really do try to reign in control or expect deserved looks from the non-kid crowd. BUT if you venture onto our turf, do not roll your eyes at my kid – or worse – try to give me tips about disciplining them because….
4. Advice on parenting from people with no kids: trust me, if you do not have a child, you don’t get it, OK?! I promise you, you do not. So if you are even thinking of starting any sentence regarding my child with “why don’t you just…” or “have you thought of…” or “this totally works with my cousin’s kids”…Just. Don’t.
5. Family attractions with insufficient bathroom set-ups: OK, this is the worst. You go to an indoor play space with a maximum capacity of 120 kids. The place is basically heaven for kids aged 0 – 6. How may stalls per bathroom? 2. How many changing tables, nada. Are you freaking kidding me?! And I wish this was an isolated incident. PEOPLE, if you are going to attract families with young kids and you don’t want urine everywhere, please design your potty situation accordingly. Sufficient stalls, changing tables, and if you want to go all out – close proximity of facilities to where our children are having the time of their lives/on countdown to meltdown. This should be pretty freaking basic. You would not even believe, however, in how many locations it is not.
So, in conclusion, these are a couple of things I’ve had on my mind and while I didn’t really have time to share them with you, I’m so glad I did. Venting is therapeutic and sharing with other parents is a must. So leave a comment on what grinds your gears, and remember –we are all in this together!